Rhi Axtell – Writer

The other day, I was visiting my hometown and met up with a few childhood friends for a meal. One particular friend has a birthday exactly one week before mine. As a result, we often get together to celebrate at the same time. In fact, I did a post about our get together last year, when everyone piled into their cars and joined me in Cardiff for a fun day of board games and silly hats.

It was a day that I valued so much. I remember laughing so hard my chest hurt.

This year, planning began again. There was a conversation. Go-karting seemed like the most exciting option. Everyone piled into their respective cars and set off to go in some karts.

Everyone, that is, except me.

Why not you, Richard? I hear you ask. Do you have a fear of tiny, motorised vehicles? A fear that you might try to instinctively try to slow your go-kart down with your feet instead of the brake and break a leg bone in the process?*

*This is a true story, but not involving me, thankfully.

Well, here’s the problem: they planned the celebration on the Facebook group chat. It’s where they all are, and therefore the most convenient place to plan these sort of things.

But they forgot one thing: I am not on social media anymore.

“I assumed you would be there,” my friend said, in a sort of pseudo-apology-explanation. “It didn’t occur to me at all.”

So here I am. Not attending things because I’m not on social media. This biggest fear that a lot of us have about leaving social media, that FOMO, missing connections, a feeling of being abandoned and forgotten, came true for me. Without being on social media, it is like I don’t exist.

But … to my surprise, I’m not too bothered.

Sure, I’m disappointed I missed out on the fun celebration. I hope they remembered the sing happy birthday to me, even though I wasn’t there. In actual fact, I think I was too busy to attend anyway.

The bonuses of not being on social media still outweigh the downsides of not being on it. For example, I now use the time I would be scrolling social media learning French instead. My morning bathroom time has become far more intellectual that it ever was.

I read more. I feel I am in the moment more. Sure, I still have that twitch to open social media – when I open a brower on my computer, I still intinctively tap ‘F’ to go to Facebook. Hopefully this will fade away in time.

So it’s still tough out here in the real world, but I don’t regret my decision.

I’m not a massive fan of go-karting anyway.

See you next time.