Rhi Axtell – Writer

What could you do differently?

Setting: Maybe a party, or a gathering of some sort where I am meeting new people. It’s probably slightly too hot, or slightly too cold and I am dressed in the wrong clothes for this weather. I am also slightly hungry. My stomach is audibly rumbling and there is food nearby, but I haven’t built up the courage to take any yet.

Then it happens – I am approached by a stranger. They speak.

Person: Oh hello, I’m Person, who are you?

There is probably a shaking of hands here, or a polite nodding of heads. I might even offer an awkward wave.

Me: Hi, I’m Richard. Nice to meet you.

Person: Nice to meet you too! What do you do, Richard?

Me: Me? Oh nothing ha ha, uhh… what do you do?

Person: I’m a (insert highly skilled and beneficial to society profession here). Sorry, what is it you do?

Me: I’m a… (quiet sigh) … I’m a writer.

Person: Oh really! (Eyebrows raise in a way that implies surprise that may or may not be insulting) What do you write?

Me: Oh, you know, words. Ha ha.

Person: Ha ha.

Me: Ha ha. Look, there’s some food!

I retreat towards the food, not making eye contact with anyone, sweating profusely.

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One of these days, I will introduce myself as a writer with confidence and an award-winning smile. That is what I could do differently.