Rhi Axtell – Writer

At 1am, a car alarm went off, wailing from the depths of the cargo hold.

At 3am, I woke up to the gentle rocking of the ship, unsure if it was the sea or that large glass of cheap wine I had bought from the ferry bar.

At 5:30am, they announced breakfast would be available for the next 45 mins. Julie and I decided that breakfast wasn’t that important and went back to sleep.

At 5:55am, Julie and I dragged ourselves out of bed, blinking away sleep (there was that rocking again – surely it’s the ship this time? Or am I drunk with tiredness?)

At 6:07am we are watching the sunrise from a table in the canteen. I am trying to eat some ‘just add water’ porridge, but it seems to be more water than porridge. Slurp. Slurp. Slurp.

At 6:27am we are back in our cabin. I’m trying to fold my pyjamas but they keep on getting bundled into a scruffy pile.

At 6:30am we are told to leave our cabins and assemble in the waiting areas until further notice. I am on the toilet at the time.

At 6:35am someone is knocking on our cabin door, asking us to leave. I am off the toilet now. The pyjamas continue to refuse to fold. Julie shouts, “Two minutes!” through the closed door. The mysterious figure grunts in response.

At 6:38am we are sat in the bar. Julie is fighting to connect to the wifi to work. I am practicing French on my phone. There is no better time to practice your French than when you are coming back from France.

At 7:00am, people who boarded in lorries and bicycles are called to the lifts. We continue to sit.

At 7:15am, people who boarded in cars are called to the lifts. Foot passengers (us) are called to the deck 7 information point to wait for further instructions. Julie puts her laptop away. We move to the deck 7 information point to wait for further instructions.

At 7:16am, Julie has got her laptop out again. I am reading a new French manga I bought in Le Havre. It’s a Pokémon manga. I think the people who we were staying with judged me a bit for buying it, but I don’t mind. It’s fun.

At 7:30am we are called to the lifts. Julie puts her laptop away. I put my book away. We descend. The lady in front of me rolls her bag onto my foot. Luckily, it is not a heavy bag.

At 7:45am, we stand at border control. I hear the man in the booth next to me ask Julie why she is coming into the UK. “We live here,” she replies, gesturing to me. The man in my booth asks me to take off my hat. I take off my hat.

At 7:46am, we are back in Portsmouth and the sun is surprisingly warm. Now we just need to catch a train.

See you next time.