Rhi Axtell – Writer

Glennon Doyle, in her book Untamed, talks about a moment in her life when she wanted to better understand herself. She was struggling to make any kind of decision. Every time she was faced with one, she would turn to people around her to try and find out the answer. She wonders aloud in the book – where had she gone? It was like she didn’t exist. She could find her own answers to questions.

To try and find herself, she decided to sit in her closet, in the dark, for ten minutes every day.

(I’m assuming this is a massive, American walk-in closet, not a tiny wardrobe like I have in my flat. It would be quite a squeeze in there.)

As I read this, it reminded me of my own practice of a ten minute meditation every day. A quiet moment to sit and do nothing. Just breathe. A lot of the mindfulness practice I have been doing has been about finding the anchor – something to hook your awareness on and let the rest of the world around you melt away. For me, it is the feeling of my chest rising and falling when I breathe, or the in-and-out of breath through my nose (I like to mix it up).

This moments have helped me in a similar way to Glennon Doyle. Overall, I have found myself calmer, more able to focus, and most importantly, able to recognise myself better without the noise of anxiety clogging up my brain every second. Sure, there are still moments of anxiety – little pulses of tension that grasp me as my brain tries to imagine an awful situation – but with my anchor, I can bring myself to the present moment. Sometimes while I breath, I try to stare at objects around me, taking in their colour, how they feel, where they are in the room/place I currently am.

These moments of quiet are important. I didn’t realise how much I was charging around, constantly doing before I finally started slowing down.

I appreciate the quiet. The silence. It’s nice to finally be able to see myself again. Hello me.

See you next time.