Ghost ages don’t matter (Blogtober #27)

Hi, how is it going? Me? I’m good thanks, just a little tired. Working hard and all that. My children’s novel is going quite well. Hmm? Something different? Oh yes, I am typing this blog on a new laptop! Thank you for noticing! So observant of you.

I am sitting here now, trying to figure out a way of making a blog about a new laptop spooky… Maybe it’s a haunted laptop? No, alright that’s too forced. I’ll have to think of something else for today’s Blogtober topic.

Okay, let’s turn to The Paranormal Database , which is a very handy database of spooky specters ‘across the UK and beyond’. Have a look, if you’re interested. Are there any spooky ghosts near you?

I’m currently looking at the Cardiff section – the fine city where I live – and I have noticed there is a ghost called ‘Older Woman’ who apparently haunts the New Theatre. Interestingly, I once applied for a job at the New Theatre and asked if it was haunted as a joke, and the interviewer said yes (as a… joke?).

They didn’t mention an ‘Older Woman’ ghost who manifests in one of the boxes where she apparently fell from to her death. I’m not saying that she also occasionally causes people not to get hired there, but it must be the reason I didn’t get the job (and definitely not because I used my interview time asking stupid questions like ‘is the theatre haunted?’).

Also, isn’t ‘Older Woman’ a terrible name for a ghost? What even is ‘older’? I suspect the person who named it didn’t want to give an age range because, let’s be honest, that’s just rude. ‘Middle aged woman ghost’ doesn’t sound good either or ‘Woman, perhaps in her late fifties, ghost’. Just call it female audience member ghost, or female ghost. Why does age even have to be a part of it? Woman ghost? It doesn’t matter. I can’t help but notice there is no ‘older man’ ghost. There is a ‘smoking man’ ghost. What is his age? ‘Smoking man in his early thirties ghost’? It seems the patriarchy is even invading our paranormal databases now! Stop being all judgemental and weird about ghost ages!

Wow, I went off on a weird direction there. Sorry about that.

Maybe it’s the new laptop. Or the fact that I ate three servings of tiramisu today (my wife makes an excellent tiramisu). Or maybe I am possessed by a ghost, whose age is not important. We’ll never know.

See you tomorrow.