Rhi Axtell – Writer

Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.

– Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

I’m trying to be authentic. I’m really, really trying.

One example of me being authentic recently was choosing not to go to a family gathering because I knew I didn’t have the energy. I authentically declined when asked to join them.

What followed were a lot of photos of the rest of the family having an amazing time by a lake, but I didn’t feel bad, because I knew I had done the right thing for me.

…

Okay, fine, in the name of authenticity I will admit that I felt a little pissed at them for having such a good time without me I felt a lot of FOMO and spent the evening playing sad music to wallow in sadness. Life isn’t perfect.

But if I had been there, I wouldn’t have enjoyed it either. I managed to rest in the time I took off, and could enjoy the next family gathering the following day. I listened to my body. It worked out. I only cried a little.

I’m really trying to be authentic. But it’s difficult.

I think one of the biggest challenges I am facing when it comes to being authentic is the idea that sometimes you might come off as being a little bit mean. Someone asks you to do something and you say “no, I don’t want to do that.”

The people pleaser inside me cries at the idea that someone might be slightly inconvenienced by me.

But this is authenticity. You are allowed to not want to do something. You are allowed to do your own thing. You don’t have to please everyone.

Yes, I am just writing directly to myself now. You can do it, Richard. You can be authentic.

I’m trying. I’m really trying.