Rhi Axtell – Writer

There is a black, plastic Tyrannosaurus rex. It has little bumps all over its skin. Its mouth is always open in what I think was supposed to be a terrifying roar, but, with the way the eyes are painted, the dinosaur always has a look of shock or surprise. If you stare long enough, you might even see mild confusion.

I received this toy at an age when I thought chewing on its head was a good idea. I can still remember the feeling of its teeth against my tongue. The way its skull gave way to my baby teeth and then popped back into place when I was done.

T-Rex used to join me in the bath. He used to fight with my Action Men. He was mean and angry and violent.

A few years later, I received a toy Godzilla. It was a plastic replica of the Godzilla from the 90s film (you know, the one that everyone hates?). T-Rex turned his violent rage to Godzilla then. They used to have epic battles – which Godzilla used to win because they had the advantage of being able to shoot fire (in the form of a blue plastic dart) from their mouth.

Side note: Godzilla, in the film which everyone hated, didn’t breathe fire, so why could my toy? Another one of life’s greatest mysteries.

Then, on a rewatch of the film everyone hated (I guess I didn’t hate the film that much on reflection), I realised Godzilla (spoiler alert) was a lady Godzilla.

And thus the battles between T-Rex and Godzilla ended and, after sitting down and having a long discussion, they found love. Their relationship blossomed as only love between two behemoths of terror and destruction can. They are still together to this day.

And where are they? In my flat, of course! You wouldn’t think I would leave them behind, would you?