I am an ideas guy. I have ideas about things. I have new ideas every day. A new novel. A new project. Then I run excitedly to my wife and tell her all about it.

“This is the one, Julie!” I tell her, breathlessly. “This is the project I am working on now.”

It’s got to the point where she doesn’t even look up at me anymore. She just says, “Okay, sounds great,” knowing full well I’ll be back tomorrow with another idea.

I am an ideas guy. An annoying ideas guy.

Unrelated: an image of me about to totally win at trivial pursuit.

Anyway, when we all went into lockdown I had the idea to end all ideas. You, or someone close to you, may have had something similar. It was an idea that went like this:

I have a lot of spare time now. I don’t have to go anywhere. I can achieve all the things I have wanted to do for my entire life, but haven’t had the time to do!

I would emerge from lockdown a more creative, more fulfilled, and, of course, much richer person (that’s financially and spiritually richer, by the way).

Then, lockdown actually happened.

I spent the next few weeks staring numbly out the window as the world passed me by. No great achievements were made. No life dreams were realised.

To celebrate this fact that the world is awful and we are all trapped inside, here is a list of the many things I have not done over lockdown:

  • Learnt French – even though I started a whole new blog for it.
  • Learnt Ukulele – even though I bought two instructional books to get me going.
  • Used the time to blog consistently (heh).
  • Written poetry.
  • Written short stories.
  • Learnt how to bake bread.
  • Eaten bread that I have baked myself.
  • Furthered my writing career by advertising myself better.
  • Furthered my website developer career by advertising myself better.
  • Learning how to advertise myself better.
  • Completed the many games I have waiting to be played.
  • Completed any of the new games I bought over lockdown to play.
  • Cleaned the flat from top to bottom.
  • Bought cleaning supplies so I can clean the flat from top to bottom.
  • Written a blog on how I cannot get anything done over lockdown.

And you know what?

I’m throwing away the list.

It’s clearly not working. My creative self doesn’t like to be bullied into doing things, and I guess I’m not going to become a millionaire, bilingual writer/web developer any time soon.

I’m just going to take it one day, one breath, one ice cream pot at a time.

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