Below is an article I wrote for a website that no longer exists. I rediscovered it today while searching through some old files and thought it would be fun to share. Enjoy:
How to have a lazy day – because you’re worth it
You’ve decided to take a Lazy Day. I understand – working is hard. Life is demanding. You need some rest and relaxation to lower those stress levels and find your inner awesome again. Here, then, are a few pointers to make sure you make as little effort as possible.
Don’t get dressed
Daytime clothes? Which are nice and make you look like an upstanding member of society? Nope. Not today. Today is all pyjamas or less, depending on the weather. Why waste precious energy putting clothes when you are just going to stay in the house anyway? Which leads me nicely into…
Don’t go anywhere
Places which aren’t your house are lame. People are there. You don’t want to waste precious energy on getting there, or on social conventions. Your bed/sofa/bath is where you are most comfortable and you plan to stay there for as long as possible thank you very much.
Construct a Fortress of Lazitude
What is a Fortress of Lazitude you ask? Well it is your zone of inner peace. Your location of greatest rest. Your temple, your place of worship and also probably where the TV remote is. To construct one, you need to find where in your house you are most comfy and then endeavour to make it even more comfy to maximise its comfiness output to the MAX! In other words, chuck a load of cushions, quilts, blankets and pillows into that area until you are in a cocoon of soft fluffy bliss.
Get takeout food delivered
Cooking? Urgh. Unless you are one of those people who LOVE cooking and find it really relaxing (in which case ignore this point entirely) you ain’t got time for that! Pick up your phone/tablet/laptop/smoke signal creator and get some food delivered to your house pronto! Added bonus: If you don’t finish it, it will probably still be good for a whole other meal later.
Low energy activities are best.
Got a bunch of films you want to watch? Television shows to catch up on? Games to play? Books to read? All perfectly valid activities on Lazy Day. Exercise? Cleaning? Homework? Nope. No thank you.
DON’T think about work. Don’t.
Do not think about work. It is a dark shadow that looms ever watching over the sanctity of a Lazy Day. If you start thinking about all the work you COULD be doing… all the work that you probably SHOULD be doing… perhaps you could do a little of it. It wouldn’t hurt and… NO. STOP. It is a slippery slope my friend. This is not a day of work.
Reflect on your awesomeness.
This day is all about you. YOU. You are the best. You deserve this. You are a wonderful person and everyone knows it. Even me. I am writing this article to celebrate your amazingness.
If possible, have a servant.
Someone who will do everything for you is definitely a plus. If they are strong enough to carry you everywhere, even better.